...

I miss her so much. And there's this guilt, for not visiting as much during her last days. Friday was the worst. Seeing her made it so painful and real. My emotions are so scattered these past couple days. Every now and then I lose it. I'm so glad she's not in pain anymore, but not having her here is a horrible feeling. Going downstairs is so painful, just too many memories. I'm actually sad that I can have friends over late and not worry about making too much noise. I actually cried when America's Funniest Videos came on- we watched that with her during the last year. The house just isn't the same. The worst thing is that the last time I talked with her I was when I told her happy birthday. But I know that she knew I really cared and loved her, and that's what matters.